If you can't say something nice . . .

Facebook and I have a love/hate relationship.  On the one hand, FB has allowed me to keep in touch with friends all over the world.  I've been able to reconnect with friends from high school and college, offer comfort and encouragement to people who are hurting, and rejoice with friends on the arrival of babies, promotions, weddings and birthdays.  Facebook allows me to effectively stalk follow my friends and their friends, perform amateur background checks on others boyfriends and girlfriends (because I care, y'all), and creep on view all the awesome photos people post.

But lately, I feel like there is a lot of FB abuse going on.  FB is no longer about silly status updates or the sharing of pictures and awesome youtube videos (meaning any and all "Call Me Maybe" lip dubs and parodies).  Instead it has become a place to say hateful things to or about people from the comfort of our couches.  While there isn't complete anonymity, I am convinced that it is a lot easier to say ugly things from behind a computer screen than to say those same things to someone's face.

About two years ago, God really convicted me about how I was using Facebook.  It was during a time of great frustration in my job, and I chose to share that frustration, un-edited, in my FB statuses.  After an anonymous note in my work mailbox cautioned me against venting in such a public forum, I decided to take a break from FB and get my issues under control.  What God showed me was that I shouldn't write anything on FB that I wouldn't be willing to say to someone's face, or that I didn't want put on the screen in a faculty meeting or at church for everyone to see.  Basically, He tweaked that old adage-"If you can't say something nice  . . .  you really shouldn't put it on Facebook."

I think as humans we seek instant gratification in many areas of our lives, and FB feeds that need.  Having a crappy day?  Post about it and instantly get feedback.  Dealing with a psycho co-worker?  Tell everyone about it so that they can give you really bad advice for dealing with the problem.  Fishing for compliments?  Talk about how fat you feel and instantly have your spirits lifted by your friends.  Angry that people never post on your wall?  Compose a passive-aggressive status update and really stick it to them.  Concerned with the state of politics, society or America?  Post harsh words that are sure to make a difference in the world.

When I returned to Facebook after my hiatus, I promised God that I would only post things that would encourage and build up the people who read them.  Essentially, I use Phillipians 4:8 as the plumb line for my posts.

"Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable--if anything is excellent or praiseworthy--think about such things."

As a result, I don't post nearly as much, and in many situations I find that I have to stop and think before I speak, or close Facebook and walk away before I shoot off a thoughtless response.  It has forced me to focus on the positives in my life.  It has changed my perspective, and I hope, brought glory to God for all that He has done for me.

As a Christian, I feel an additional responsibility with my words and my witness.  I value my relationships with others, whether they see things my way or not, and I certainly don't want a glib status update to hurt my ability to share or show Jesus.  I wonder if Jesus would have used Facebook had it been available.  I am no Biblical scholar or spiritual giant, but I notice that Jesus spent His time face-to-face with others.  He didn't post generalizations about sin; he got to know sinners.  He spoke-not posted, typed, texted or emailed-the truth in love.

Each one of us can choose how we will use the power of Facebook.  And I pray that what we decide to post will be pleasing to God.